The Wee Wee Mannie and the Big Big Coo

Once upon a time in Scotland, there lived a wee wee mannie, which means a very small man. He had a big big coo, which is how folk in Scotland say a very big cow. Every morning, the wee wee mannie took his wee wee bucket and his wee wee stool, and he went out to milk the big big coo.

One morning, the big big coo would not stand still. She swished her tail, and she stamped her feet, and she turned around and around in the field. “Please stand still, my bonny coo,” said the wee wee mannie. But the big big coo just mooed and walked away.

So the wee wee mannie went home to his mother. “Mother, the big big coo won’t stand still, and the wee wee mannie can’t milk the big big coo!” “Well, well,” said his mother, “go back and sing her a song.” So the wee wee mannie went back and sang a song. “La la la, la la loo, please stand still, my big big coo.” But the big big coo did not like his singing, and she stamped her feet and walked away.

So the wee wee mannie went home to his mother again. “Mother, the big big coo won’t stand still, and the wee wee mannie can’t milk the big big coo!” “Well, well,” said his mother, “go back and give her a crust of bread.” So the wee wee mannie went back and held out a crust of bread. The big big coo ate it up in one gulp, swished her tail, and walked away again.

So the wee wee mannie went home to his mother one more time. “Mother, the big big coo won’t stand still, and the wee wee mannie can’t milk the big big coo!” His mother put down her knitting and thought for a while. “Well, well,” she said at last. “Go and tell the big big coo that if she won’t stand still, you will take her to market and trade her for a wee wee goat.”

So the wee wee mannie went back to the field and told the big big coo just that. The big big coo stopped swishing her tail. She stopped stamping her feet. She did not want to go to market, and she did not want to leave her nice green field. So she stood as still as a stone.

The wee wee mannie sat on his wee wee stool and milked the big big coo. Soon his wee wee bucket was full of warm, creamy milk. He gave the big big coo a pat on the nose and whispered, “I would never really trade you, my bonny coo.” Then he carried the milk home, and he and his mother had big big bowls of porridge with it.