Master of All Masters

Once upon a time, a girl went to the fair to look for work. There she met a funny old gentleman in a tall hat, and he asked her to come and help in his house. The girl said yes, and off they went together.

When they got to his house, the old gentleman said, “In this house, I have my own names for things, and you must learn them all.” The girl thought that was strange, but she nodded and listened carefully.

“What will you call me?” he asked. “Master, or sir, or whatever you like,” said the girl. “No,” he said, “you must call me master of all masters.” Then he pointed to his bed. “That is not a bed, it is my barnacle,” he said. He held up his pants. “These are not pants, they are my squibs and crackers.” Then he pointed at the white cat curled up by the fire. “That is not a cat, she is white-faced simminy.”

“And what is this?” he asked, pointing at the fire. “That is fire,” said the girl. “No, it is hot cockalorum,” he said, “and the water in the bucket is pondalorum.” Last of all, he waved his arms around at the whole house. “And this is not a house, it is high topper mountain.” The girl said all the words over and over, until she knew every one.

That very night, while the master was asleep, the girl was tidying the kitchen. White-faced simminy was snoozing too close to the fire. Pop went a little spark, and it landed on the fluffy tip of the cat’s tail! The cat was not hurt, but she jumped up with a yowl and dashed up the stairs.

The girl grabbed the bucket and ran after her. She splashed the tiny spark out, and the cat purred and licked her tail. Then the girl knocked on the master’s door, and she remembered all her new words. “Master of all masters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers!” “White-faced simminy had a spark of hot cockalorum on her tail, but I put pondalorum on it!” “High topper mountain is safe and sound!”

The old gentleman sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Then he began to laugh, and he laughed until his nightcap fell off. “What a clever girl you are,” he said, “and what a good memory you have!” And from then on, she was the best helper the master of all masters ever had.