Hereafterthis

Once upon a time, a farmer named Jan lived all alone on a little farm. He married a cheerful young woman, who was kind but did everything in a terrible hurry.

“Can you milk cows?” asked Jan. “Oh yes, my mother showed me how,” said his wife. Jan bought ten red cows, but his wife thought they drank too slowly and shooed them into the pond. The cows splashed out the far side and wandered off, and Jan hunted for them all week. “Never mind,” said Jan with a sigh, “you will do better hereafter this.”

Next, Jan bought some pigs, and his wife pushed their noses into the trough to make them eat faster. The pigs squealed and ran away, and they did not come home until dark. Then she made a barrel of apple juice, and a big black dog sat down and stared at her. She pulled out the plug, threw it at the dog, and chased him down the lane, and all the juice ran out. “Never mind,” said Jan each time, “you will do better hereafter this.”

One day, while she was cleaning, his wife found a bag of money hidden high up on top of the tall old cupboard. “That is saved for hereafter this,” said Jan, which meant for later, to pay the rent. But a robber was hiding under the window, and he heard every word.

The next day, while Jan was at market, the robber knocked at the door in a fine coat and hat. “Good morning, I am Mr. Hereafterthis, and I have come for my bag of money,” he said with a bow. His wife thought he looked very grand, so she fetched the bag and gave it to him.

When Jan heard, he scratched his head and said, “Well, we must go and find it.” So Jan lifted the front door off its hinges to use as a bed on the way, and off they went. At the foot of a big hill they found a tall tree, and Jan wedged the door up high among its leaves to make a bed.

Late that night, his wife woke him, and they climbed onto a branch to peek out. A little door had opened in the hill, and out came fine gentlemen with a long table and candles. Behind them came the robber with Jan’s bag, and they all began counting their coins. Jan gave the door a nudge with his foot, and it slid down through the branches like a sled. Bang, it landed flat on the table, and every candle went out! “The hill is falling on us!” cried the robbers, and they ran back inside and never dared come out again.

Jan climbed down and found his own bag on the table. He took the robbers’ other coins to town, so they could go back to the people they belonged to. Then Jan and his wife went home, put their front door back on, and bought a few more cows and pigs. And from then on, his wife did things slowly and carefully, hereafter this.