Mr. Vinegar

Once upon a time, Mr. and Mrs. Vinegar lived in a house made out of a big glass vinegar bottle. One morning, Mrs. Vinegar was sweeping so hard that she knocked the door right off. “Oh dear, our house is broken!” she cried. “Never mind,” said Mr. Vinegar, “let us take the door with us and go seek our fortune.” So he put the door on his back, and off they went.

By night, they were deep in a dark forest, and they were very tired. They climbed a tall tree, laid the door across two branches, and went to sleep on top of it. In the middle of the night, a band of thieves sat down under the tree to count their gold! Mr. Vinegar was so scared that he shook, and the door slipped and fell down with a crash. The thieves ran away as fast as they could, and they left all the gold behind.

In the morning, Mr. Vinegar climbed down and found a big bag of gold. “We are rich!” said Mrs. Vinegar. “Take this gold to town and buy us a cow, and we will sell her milk and butter.”

On the way to town, Mr. Vinegar saw a farmer with a fine red cow. “Oh, if only I had that cow,” he said, so he gave the farmer all the gold for her. A little later, he heard a man playing bagpipes, and all the children were dancing around him. “Oh, if only I had those bagpipes,” he said, so he traded the cow for them. But when Mr. Vinegar tried to play, the bagpipes only squeaked and squawked.

His fingers were cold now, and he saw a man with a pair of warm woolly gloves. “Oh, if only I had those gloves,” he said, so he traded the bagpipes for them. Then his legs grew tired, and he saw a man with a walking stick. “Oh, if only I had that stick,” he said, so he traded the gloves for it.

As he walked home, a parrot in a tree began to laugh at him. “Silly Mr. Vinegar!” it squawked. “You had gold, and a cow, and bagpipes, and gloves, and now all you have is a stick!” Mr. Vinegar was so grumpy that he threw the stick up at the parrot. The parrot just flew away, and the stick landed in the river and floated off.

So Mr. Vinegar went back to his wife in the forest with nothing at all. Mrs. Vinegar put her hands on her hips, and Mr. Vinegar hung his head. “I wanted everything I saw,” he said, “and now I have nothing.” Then they carried the old door home to their vinegar bottle, and Mr. Vinegar never forgot that lesson.