The Wise Men of Gotham

Long ago, there was a little village in England called Gotham. The people of Gotham called themselves wise men, but they did the silliest things you ever heard of. Here are three of their stories.

One day, twelve men of Gotham went fishing in the river. Some stood on the bank, and some waded into the water. When it was time to go home, one of them said, “Let us count, to make sure nobody fell in.” So he counted, “One, two, three,” all the way to eleven. But he forgot to count himself! “Oh no, one of us is missing!” he cried. Each man tried to count, and each man forgot to count himself, so each one counted only eleven.

Just then, a traveler came riding by and asked why they were so upset. “We were twelve when we came, but now we are only eleven,” they said. The traveler tried not to laugh. “Each of you, push your nose into this soft mud bank,” he said, “and then count the holes.” So they did, and they counted twelve nose holes in the mud. “Hooray, we are all here!” they cheered, and they thanked the traveler again and again.

Another day, a man of Gotham was taking his round cheeses to the market in Nottingham. At the top of a hill, one cheese fell out of his bag and rolled away down the road. “Clever cheese, you know the way to market!” he said. So he took out all the other cheeses and rolled them down the hill too. “Run along to the market, and wait for me there,” he called. When he got to the market, there were no cheeses at all, and he waited and waited. Nobody knows where those cheeses went, but some say they are rolling still.

One spring, the people of Gotham heard a cuckoo singing in a bush. “Cuckoo, cuckoo,” it sang, and everyone smiled, because the cuckoo’s song means summer is coming. “Let us keep the cuckoo here,” they said, “and then it will be summer all year long!” So they built a fence of sticks all around the bush. They worked and worked, and the cuckoo watched them with its head on one side. Then, just as they finished, it spread its wings and flew right over the top. “Oh, bother!” said the wise men. “If only we had built the fence a little bit higher!”

And that is why, to this day, people smile when they hear about the wise men of Gotham.